My Conversion To Islam

My Conversion.

In 2004, Jitam [my Dyak wife at the time] gave birth to Jerimiah John.  We call him the ‘boy-boy’ because his brother Josiah is called ‘the boy’.  It just happened that way, and everyone in the Kampong has stuck to it.  Anyway, during her confinement, Jitam stayed at her mom’s with the children, and I was alone at our farm, some 15 km away.  Aside from farm work, I was doing a lot of research and writing, and suddenly it dawned on me that this was a perfect opportunity to read the Koran.  The book had sat in my library for over five years and I had only skimmed it, without really taking it in.

DSC_2426BAfter the first few pages, I couldn’t put it down.  At one point, I found myself weeping.  No sooner had the tear reached my cheek than I read the verse about those who weep!  I was dumbstruck!  I finished the book in three days.  Immediately after reading it, I turned to the last page of the Bible, to the Book of Revelation, and read through a verse which confirmed that Jesus was not God.  I was never able to clearly read that verse before; it was as if some sort of veil had lifted from my comprehension.  I closed the book.  It was after midnight, and except for the cat and angels, I was still alone.

I then dropped to my knees, prostrated, and confessed the Shahadah in English.  When I arose, I was a Muslim.  Well …  not exactly!  You see, I had always been a Muslim, I just didn’t know it.  So when I rose from the carpet, I knew it!  Over the next two weeks, I remained alone and re-read the Koran another two times.  A few days later, Jitam came home with the boys.  After they went to bed, I told her.

Speechless, shocked, benumbed, confounded, stupefied, etc., any of these words and more would describe her reaction as she sat and listened.  You should understand that she and I were both Christian Ministers, well respected in the Bidayuh community of the SIB evangelical Church.  She had also been a missionary among the Iban longhouses for 4 years before I met her.  So to hear her beloved husband speak the praises of the enemy camp was a bit too much for words to describe.

Exhausted, we both went to bed.  The next day she went back to her mothers with the children.  I would have to say that ‘gentle silence’ governed the departure, which remained open-ended.  A day later, she returned with a squad of her family members: two brothers, mother, and an aunt.  The brother who spoke the best English, refused to sit and simply stood there in our living room and demanded to know if I was serious.  I said yes and offered to defend my position, but he refused me any opportunity, and they all then demanded that I leave the country.

There was nothing much left to say.  Silence was king for a minute, and then I asked them for 30 days respite to prepare my departure.  They left after going through our papers to find the land title documents, which they took with them.  Jitam left with them, having never said a word.  She was the last out the door.  I followed her and gently begged her to come the next day so we could talk.

After they left, I collapsed in a corner and wept for about 10 minutes.  What confronted me was losing everything I had, plus my beloved little family.  But even as I blew my nose and wiped the tears, I told Allah it was OK, I would do it, – I had no other choice!  My conversion was complete and irrevocable.  You see, I knew too much about the errors in the Judeo-Christian Scriptures, and after Al’Qur’an’s complete exposition, there was nothing else and nowhere else for my soul to have rest, except in Islam.

That night, I wrote a letter to Jitam, because I knew she would come to the house before I got home the next day.  In it, I made it clear what her future would hold for her and the boys without my guidance and blessing.  I made her look in the mirror of a love and future she confessed, but was ready to abandon because of her family and her culture.  When I came home, she was sitting on the couch, with the letter in her hand , crying.

She stood up and embraced me, tenderly at first, but then she lost control and began beating me with her fists.  I let her pound away until she tired.  All she could say was ‘you, you, you, you…’ as she flailed away.  I took her in my arms again and comforted her as only a husband can do, then we sat down.  For about an hour, I explained my conversion and the scriptural reasons why I could not change.  She listened patiently and lovingly.  In the end, she saw my resolve, and knowing me as only a wife can do, she knew I wouldn’t change my heart or mind.  Then, we made love.

For the sake of appearances, and to distance her family, she agreed to go to Magilis Islam and confess with her lips but not her heart, the Shahadah.  This she did, but never made any effort to study Islam, and I never forced  her to.

Meanwhile, her family threw her and the children out of her mother’s house.  For two months, we were at wits end ,trying to work and cope with a newborn, as her mother wouldn’t help.  About a month later, one of her brothers, a man I had fed for four years (him and his wife and 4 children) came to my house in a fury and chopped down about twenty of my fruit trees.  Jitam’s mother was with him, but she didn’t help him.  She just stood and watched.  I left in order to avoid bloodshed, it just wasn’t worth it!

Her mother then sat with Jitam and examined her, finally asking her if Jitam really-really loved me.  When her mom was satisfied the answer was yes, and that I had not forced her into anything, all was well between the two once again.  But my relations with the family never really healed.  There’s far more to the tale, but that should satisfy your curiosity for now.

Thanks for asking and Wasalaam,


10 Comments on “My Conversion To Islam

  1. Hello Dr. Omar. I appreciate your insights on many subjects. I can also understand the short comings of the church and many traditions; for the antidote to this my I point you to Dr. Michael Heiser, author of The Unseen Realm, and his podcast the Naked Bible Podcast, in which he helps understand scripture in the Ancient Near Eastern context. However, do you really believe that Jesus did not die per Sura 4:157? Do you think this was special revelation to Mohamed? He got this idea from the gnostics (see the Second Treatise of the Great Seth). Basically, he didn’t want give the Jews credit for killing Jesus, but this assertion from the Koran should give you pause and question this “special revelation.” I hope you will also consider the amazing life and letters of Paul (focus on the haupe breife), whose conversion to Christ our Passover cannot be easily dismissed.

    • Thank you Mr Hadden …. have been a student of Dr Heiser’s for quite a while. As for the Koran, it’s very solid, far more than the Biblical texts … which I’ve studied extensively as well …. And I do not ascribe to Paulianity (see my book on the Trinity as to why? and for other reasons) and ‘no’ I do not believe Yeoshuah was murdered nor do I consider him divine …. However, I do agree with NT moral doctrines, for the most part, and a good portion of its theology … it’s been fiddled with for certain, that’s established fact and as it is, cannot be relied on. My Book, Forgotten Saints, explains the truth found in the Gospel of Barnabas btw. All the best abd God bless (in his own name) ,,,,

      • Thank you for the feedback. May I ask you to clarify how you understand Sura 4:157? Was he just taken up without ever experiencing death, like Enoch?

      • seems that way …. the koran says it was made to appear as if he was crucified, how, we don’t know …. many theories … he will return, and when he does, he will kill the Anti-Christ and will also experience death, for that is appointed to all. Apparently, he is in the third heaven awaiting the second advent. Like Christians, all Muslims await his return, for without him, the Jews cannot be stopped … apparently, it’s his job, as their last and final prophet.

    • Dr. Zaid, regarding the NWO, you may many excellent resources (I cannot say that I have read them all) but some seem to highlight the influence of elite Jews (Protocols, etc) while others emphasize the Jesuits. I am having trouble assimilating it all. Any insight on how it all fits is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

  2. Salamun Alaykum Brother Omar

    I am so happy to have found this site

    And also very happy to read about your conversion

    May Allah shower you and your entire family with Love, Blessings, Mercy and Truth


    I love you for the sake of Allah


  3. I think it is noble that you are searching for truth. You have been on a long journey and think you have found home. But with all journeys there are strange twists you did not see coming. Maybe this email may be one of them. I see from your bio that you are from Philly…as am I…but in the burbs. I too went to West Chester Univ…grew up in Exton. Raised Catholic too. When a member of my online group came to me about one of your posts (the Catholic Church and it’s problem with men who practice homosexuality) I had to write. You are dead on about the infection within the heirarchy of the Catholic Church. And why not? It is the enemy of Satan himself and thus his primary target. But the Catholic Church is not it’s messed up perverted priests or even Popes. The Catholic Church is made up of the deposit of faith given by Jesus Christ to his apostles…Scripture, Tradition and Magisterium and those who follow it. And yes, Jesus Christ is God per John chapter 1, 8:58, 10:30, 10:37 and other places. A great talk to listen to is by Dr. Peter Kreeft called “Lord, Liar, or Lunatic” here is the audio (you have to pay $2 for it) Another great read about Christ is “The Life of Christ” by Fulton Sheen…one of the best books ever written about the Lord’s life. I don’t know why you were led down this path…I don’t know what drew you out from His Church…probably the nuttiness and harm done by clergy back in the day. But don’t let anything pull you away from truth. Truth is not a feeling, it is a Person. Yes, we do need supernatural faith to believe in Christ versus the natural faith found in strict monotheism of Judiasm and Islam. But it is also based on historical fact and the reality that we’ve fallen very short of God’s mark…and that only an infinite and pure Being sacrificed could satisfy an infinite God. Come back to truth, beauty and goodness…come back to reason informed by faith…come back home to the traditional Catholic Church. You will be in my prayers. In Christ~ MMC

    • Thank You. But nevertheless, I highly recommend that you read the many postings here on Christianity in general, especially my book on the Trinity, as well as the horrific and factual accounts of Church History. Whatever truth remains within the church is not sourced from its theology, doctrines or ecclesiarchs, but rather from the common sense and the pure intentions of its routine adherents. The Catholic Church, in my studied view, is the most murderous and dangerous of institutions in all of world history. Its leadership, in particular the Jesuits, re responsible for the rise of Fascism and Communism, and gave birth to the Zionist menace through the institution of Freemasonry, which Jesuit moles had infiltrated and suffused with lies, false ideals and zealotry by the early 19th Century. The Christian dogma of the so-called ‘Rapture’ is but one of the many false doctrines purposely planted by Jesuits. Stalin was a Jesuit priest, and Rasputin was purposely chosen to bring about the downfall of the Czar, an enemy of the Church. I could go on with Hitler and the SS Jesuit who wrote Mein Kemph (Himmler’s Uncle), but I doubt people like you prefer truth to the gilded fantasy of papist ascension, pope-mobiles,the Mythraic Communion rite and holy water. Fie upon such things. They are damnable. Nevertheless, may Allah grant you guidance. – Sincerely, Dr. Omar

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